Baby, don’t cry, everything is gonna be [still sad for you]
Dear hippies (read: ASU Young Democrats)—
Grow up. Please realize that the world does not care about you and your dire attempts to get attention, such as pestering corporations that laugh in your face before slamming their doors. Also, the world revolves around money. If you don’t have it, you’ll never get anything done. Sorry. Life sucks.
Please enjoy this consolatory gift basket including a larger “party bowl” for your bong, a used hackey sack, and a little book for you to write depressing poetry about how the world is going to hell and no one understands you.
— The Majority
Tags: ASU Young Democrats, hippies, open letter