oreolize (’ôr-E-&-”lIz)
v. tr. or·e·o·lized, or·e·o·liz·ing, or·e·o·liz·es
1. To beat to a disfigured mass with an Oreo cookie
2. To use an Oreo cookie to violently reprimand or teach a lesson to a younger sibling
Word History: Chris beat the crap out of his younger brother on an airplane. With an Oreo. It was “surprisingly effective” and “more painful […]
It’s Falloween! We have to call it that now because otherwise THE CHILDREN might learn about a Pagan Holiday *gasp*. WHAT?! Something that isn’t family-friendly? A non - pro - choice - politically - correct - morally - superior - white - heterosexual - upper - middle - class celebration of demons and souls and […]
I carved this last year, using the Homestarrunner-provided stencils. It was my first time carving a pumpkin, but I thought it turned out pretty well.
I’m not sure what to do this year and since I don’t have any big plans, I might just skip it.
Anyway, show it to all your friends. Because you love […]
Dear hippies (read: ASU Young Democrats)—
Grow up. Please realize that the world does not care about you and your dire attempts to get attention, such as pestering corporations that laugh in your face before slamming their doors. Also, the world revolves around money. If you don’t have it, you’ll never get anything done. Sorry. Life […]
Looks like it worked, except it of course used the user id instead of the author name. Should be fixed now. *Should*.
So there’s a fair chance that this won’t work at all right now, but I’m trying to tie in a post made on WordPress to the shoutbox for Originality Is Overrated, which resides on a different database. I did it with a cheap hack (mysql_select_db) instead of using the pleasant, fully functioning class-based database architecture […]
Dear IE:
Burn in hell, kthx.
Love,
Chris
(Having some stupid span vs. div vs. float: issues in IE. So switch to Firefox. Seriously, now. Or go away. I don’t mind that much.
Edit:
Dear Internet Explorer:
I’m sorry I yelled at you before. You were only doing your job, and it was really my fault that I left a large chunk […]
When I was writing at Gizmodo, we had several hard-and-fast categories we could throw our posts into. Several of them, we never ever used, while I pined away (and bitched at Joel) for what I would have thought would make blatantly obvious additions. (Like “Wi-Fi.”) Moving with the speed of a wounded brontasaurus on Quaaludes, […]
Today I decided that I could use some extra cash, so I applied for a part time job. Among other equally classy businesses, I went into a conveniently located Starbucks, literally less than a quarter mile from my apartment, and asked if they were hiring.
The girl said yes, and asked if I was looking for […]
I’ve decided the next MySpace craze should be “&scene;”
Fuck those hearts. I’m sick of ‘em.
Now, after making an ass of yourself, or being deliberately irrational, offensive, or maybe just unexpected, you can give yourself a great finale, a grand curtain if you will, with the glorious &scene; character.
C’mon, you didn’t think of it.
I’ve finally tweaked (read: beaten) the CSS into submission as promised to allow for two glorious columns of text to allow you to confuse and beguile yourself with our charm, wit and craziness. It’s true.
To do, still:
Restylize.
Add center divider, perhaps minor content of the smallest baked fonts.
Restylize again.
And twice more.
Also:
Add date bars…
Make differences in columns […]
bork (bôrk)
v. tr. borked, bork·ing, borks
1. To obscure; To make faintly perceptible as to lack clear delineation
2. To hilariously destroy, disintegrate, or decay.
Word History: The obscenity “bork” is a very old word and has been considered shocking from the first, though it is seen in print much more often now than in the past. Its […]
So I’m continuing through the tiringly dense forest of CSS behind this site to make it follow a dual-column layout. I’ll be on the left and Tony will be on the right. We’ll have what’s traditionally deemed the “sidebar” running down the middle.
If you’re viewing this page in Firefox right now, you probably have a […]
I’m going to be changing the template and supporting CSS files to allow for two columns.
I’m happy that I found out something that should’ve been obvious to me earlier on: No real code needs to be written to handle the “by author” request. Once you take a look at The Loop and how it’s used, […]
Tony: i just got an ad on my space that flashed “how to meet Black Singles in your city”
Tony: uh… no thanks Tom
Tony: i don’t need a link to BlackPeopleMeet.com
Chris: yeah, me too
Chris: i was wondering if they had an ad for *avoiding* meeting black people in my city